It Gets Different

When the “It Gets Better” campaign came out, I thought to myself, “That totally applies to full-time stay-at-home parenting too!” It’s one of my mama mantras that gets me through the minute/day/week – knowing that this particular phase we’re going through with the kids won’t last forever. In fact, I’ve come to accept, and even embrace, the fact that the only sure thing about parenting is change. As soon as you get into a groove with the kids’ emotions or behavior or routine, *bam*, it all goes out the window. Baby sleeping 12-hour stretches at night? Say bye-bye to that after a week and hello again to broken sleep of 4-5 hour chunks. Toddler professing absolute love for mama and daddy today? Tomorrow, it’s “you are not my mom and I am not your friend.” There’s a flip side too, though. Such as when my 13-month-old decided to eat broccoli on his eighth try. Whoohoo! That was a fist-pump moment for sure.

However, with kids, “it” doesn’t necessarily get better as much as “it” gets different. In my three-and-a-half short years as a parent, I’ve come to learn that each stage has as many (if not sometimes more) challenges as the previous one. Yes, certain things do get better, like when you no longer need to deal with diapers. In exchange, though, you navigate public potty usage and cart around spare changes of clothes. And I often hear from my more seasoned parent friends how much they miss the early days when hurts could be hugged and kissed away, and their kids openly shared their thoughts and feelings with them. Their perspectives are important reminders for me to enjoy the moment I’m in right now, rather than wish the kids would grow up sooner.

As it is already, the kids will grow up sooner than I will like and everything will keep getting different whether I like it or not. So I’m just going to focus on how finite each moment is, and try to enjoy their differences.

I Just Blinked

My baby just turned one! How can this be? It seems like just yesterday that I was co-sleeping with him in the kids’ room, waking up every hour and a half to nurse. And now he’s standing up by himself, imitating words like “dog” and “go,” protesting his dislikes, cuddling freely, clapping during mealtimes, and laughing at his big sister’s silliness.

As all parents with more than one child say, the past year has gone by in the blink of an eye. I feel like I haven’t even had a chance to process what it means to measure my baby’s age in years instead of months. And my acute case of mama-nesia doesn’t help. For the life of me, I just don’t remember the developmental milestones of a one-year-old anymore. Good thing I’ve got my hospital-sponsored child well-being newsletters!

Seriously, though, I’m having a blast re-living all of the early stages with Nolan, and try to remember how very lucky I am to have the opportunity to do so. Just yesterday, I was able to record his second stroll pushing his walker toy. And at dinnertime for the past week, he’s been encouraging me and Syd to read with enthusiastic clapping. At one, Nolan’s favorite play activity is putting objects into containers of all shapes and sizes, including containers that aren’t meant to contain things at all! He’s developed an impressively strong throw (particularly over his playpen) and is becoming more interested in books. I catch him studying things and I like to imagine that he enjoys figuring out how things work.

At one year old, I’m beginning to catch glimpses of my little guy’s personality, and it delights and astonishes me. I can’t wait to see more of him after my next blink.

 

New Year News

20131008-IMG_1168Well, it’s been quite a while since I last posted…an entire holiday season, as a matter of fact. Much, much has happened, and I’m excited to be back sharing my thoughts on all of it. The biggest news is that Syd has a baby brother now, 4.5 month old Nolan, whom she loves to cuddle and take care of.

For his part, Nolan is absolutely enamored of his big sis and I can already tell that she can do no wrong in his eyes. As tiring and overwhelming as the past few months have been adjusting to the biggest change in our family’s life, seeing my two babies interact with each other makes my heart so full to bursting with love and pride and happiness.

Sydney has really taken to the big sister/big girl mantle and wears it with great pride. Whenever I say “mama’s two babies,” she corrects me right away by saying “I not a baby. I big girl. I take care of Nolan, I take care of mama, I take care of Emma, I take care of daddy.” She never ceases to amaze me with her self-awareness and maturity.

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The Language of Love

Sydney’s language skills have exploded lately and she’s so expressive these days, I love it! Sure, I don’t quite understand about 25% of what she says, but it’s still so insanely cute that it doesn’t even matter. Plus, I know that I’ll be able to understand her fully soon enough and one day will probably wish that I didn’t understand *all* the words that come out of her mouth.

Right now, though, I want to relish in and record the preciousness of her vocabulary and pronunciation. In particular, there are those words that she slightly mispronounces or has a slightly different version of from the actual word. I know the experts advise us parents to repeat them back to our children in the correct pronunciation, but most of the time, I’m getting such a kick out of her toddler-pronunciation that I can’t bear to correct her.

Orange = “oranges”

Twinkle (as in “twinkle, twinkle, little star”) = “crinkle”

Paci = “faci”

Mermaid = “wormee”

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Potty Mouth

(Previously written post)

We’re in week four of potty training (end of June) and there’s been mostly progress, but enough setbacks/accidents to make me start doubting my decision to try this now.

Today, Syd said the cutest thing about her poop (“Cute” and “poop” in the same sentence? This is why I’m blogging about this and not posting on Facebook.). She looked into the potty after she stood up and said “turtle!” That particular poop did indeed look like a turtle swimming in some “water” (her pee). It’s fascinating what kids think of or associate, that I would never think as an adult. Looking at it more closely, though, I did have to admit that there was more than a passing resemblance of her poop to a turtle.

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It’s now been almost two months since we started training, and Syd’s doing well overall. I’ve come to realize that because she’s still quite young, our journey so far has taken the form of “two steps forward, one step back.” The beginning was bumpy, as I would get my hopes up and convince myself that we were *this close* to completing training, only to be greeted with multiple accidents several days in a row. And I fully acknowledge that I did not handle them in the most graceful or patient manner. Now, however, after some really good weeks followed by some not-so-good weeks, I’m more realistic about my expectations. I put less pressure on both of us to show immediate success, and this has been a very helpful change in direction for both of us – much more healthy and helpful, I like to think.

We’ve moved from the child-directed approach (waiting for Syd to let us know when she has to use the potty) to a more proactive strategy (gentle reminders and incentives for trying to potty every 2-3 hours), and while the new approach isn’t the most compatible with Syd’s independent spirit, it’s alleviating a lot of the stress and frustration – for both of us – that come with accidents. In due time, we’ll be able to shift back to following Sydney’s lead, as her development continues to grow, and I take great comfort in that. Plus, I’m putting a *lot* of confidence in that saying – “no one goes off to college in diapers.” I mean, it’s totally true, right??